Child Abuse/Neglect; Is Baltimore Mom Toya Graham Perpetuating Poverty & Prejudice?
Hello. My writings are based on the nearly twelve years I provided uniformed and investigative police services to the Brooklyn, NY community Shawn ‘Jay Z’ Carter raps about attempting destroy by indiscriminately selling ‘people and community’ harming addictive drugs to his depressed, struggling neighbors, regardless of the drug purchaser’s AGE, emotional or physical condition.
I am told my writings are not always sensitive. I apologize if my frustrations seep into my accounts of personally witnessing child abuse, as well as how it affects developing newborns, infants, toddlers, children, teens and their communities.
With all due respect to Baltimore mom Toya Graham and her admirers, I do not view Ms. Graham as “Mother of The Year” nor do I believe she is a responsible person. Fact is, I believe Ms. Toya Graham is one of thousands of criminal or criminally negligent American moms who perpetuates poverty, prejudice and child abuse or neglect.
Knowing the struggles and challenges MANY married couples and single parents with large families face, why would an intelligent, responsible person birth multiple children who she cannot properly care for/supervise?
Assuming Ms. Graham was raised and nurtured in a community with ‘The Street’ mentality she speaks about, after witnessing the difficulty and challenges other moms with large family’s face, why would Ms. Graham assume the immense responsibility and added stresses of protecting six children from ‘The Street’ mentality prevalent in many poor American communities?
I’ve met hundreds of moms like Ms. Graham. I’ve met them when they were young immature teens/adults who irresponsibly birthed multiple children they were not fully prepared to nurture and care for on a 24/7 basis, nor had they acquired the means to independently provide for their children, often seeking from their responsible neighbors, monetary assistance in the form of social services.
Knowing she would have to work her tail off to provide for six children, would a responsible mom birth multiple kids knowing she would be at work trying to earn enough for her six kids to get by on…while at the same time her six children were being supervised by a person who is not their mother?
Would an intelligent working single mom realize that birthing fewer children will result in fewer stresses in her life and offer a better quality of life for her children???
Would a responsible, critical thinking person living in a community populated with depressed, angry, frustrated children and adults, many who adopt “The Street” culture to make their living, birth multiple children knowing the struggles and challenges her children will face as they develop into teens and adults?
Does a responsible working mom who is just getting by, providing her six children with the bare essentials, realize that caring for, nurturing and raising fewer children will result in happier kids?
Besides meeting hundreds of moms like Toya Graham, I have met hundreds of angry, frustrated, depressed children much like her son Michael. Sadly, I have arrested many children who vent their anger and frustrations on their peaceful neighbors as well as the police responsible for protecting their peaceful neighbors from children who develop into teens and adults lacking compassion and empathy for their peaceful neighbors.
As I am writing this I am listening to Ms. Toya Graham inform CNN’s Anderson Cooper, “At no time is my son a thug.”
I realize many/most moms instinctively wish to protect their children. I also understand that in most cases moms realize when their children behave poorly it reflects on them, and denying their child acted poorly is also protecting their reputation as a good mom.
However, Ms. Graham has stated her son has been in trouble before and in this instance she reveals personally witnessing her son concealing his identity while congregating with other depressed, angry children who conspired via social media to cause mayhem and harm to a shopping mall, as well as police responsible for protecting peaceful people in a public place. I watched in horror as these children threw brick and concrete ‘boulders’ at police, the only words I could think of to describe the children’s action are, “Depraved indifference to human life.”
In light of this comment about her son Michael Graham not being a thug I am totally miffed at why she is being hailed “Mom of The Year” when she is clearly denying reality?
I watched a interview with her son Michael who did not appear ashamed or embarrassed that he was identified as a person in his community who attempted to cause great bodily harm to innocent police officers attempting to protect peaceful people from angry, frustrated depressed children. In fact my impression is that Michael Graham is already being indoctrinated into what his mother Toya characterized as “The Street.”
When my mom told me to be careful in the street she did not want me being struck by a car. When Ms. Graham admonishes her son to be careful in “The Street” she is telling Michael to avoid hanging with depressed children who commit anti-social acts against their peaceful neighbors, including selling drugs, and items stolen from their peaceful working neighbors via burglary or forcible robbery.
For nearly a dozen years I witnessed on a daily basis the pain children experience from living without true love, true caring, proper guidance and the basic things other kids have…like food.
I’ve also witnessed the emotional pain and physical damage peaceful people and neighborhoods experience when kids like Michael Graham develop into angry, frustrated, depressed teens because they don’t have things, or feel a true sense of love and connection with their parents, or in Michael’s case his single mother.
When I hear people talking about poverty I wonder if they realize Toya Graham and the hundreds of moms much like her that I met while serving a predominantly black Brooklyn community are responsible for causing-perpetuating poverty and the prejudice/fear many American experience when they read about or are personally affected by the anti-social acts children like Ms. Graham’s son commit?
I wonder if Ms. Graham had made more mature, responsible choices before beginning a family, perhaps her son Michael would not develop into a angry young man who chose to join other angry frustrated children in harming peaceful people in their community?
If instead of having six children and struggling to care for them, why not create a family of two children who can enjoy a better quality of life because mom does not have to struggle attempting to provide for a larger family?
If moms choose to raise their children in communities that are struggling, communities that are populated with depressed angry teens and adults, many who are the victims of child abuse, maltreatment and neglect, why do so many of these moms continue to birth multiple children into these risky environments?
Isn’t it difficult enough protecting one or two children from “The Street” influences of abused/neglected depressed children/teens/adults in the community?
I would like to know why Ms. Graham and the thousands of moms living in struggling communities believe is it easier protecting six children from anti-social attitudes of other children born to irresponsible moms who also birth multiple children they are failing to properly raise and nurture?
In this writing I am going to refrain from expressing the anger, frustration and pain I experienced from having to deal with angry, depressed, frustrated, undisciplined, unpredictable, irrational children like Michael Graham.
Though I will express my disappointment with Ms. Toya Graham and the thousands of clueless mothers much like her who early in their lives make immature, irresponsible decisions that lead to birthing multiple children before acquiring the skills and means to raise and nurture a peaceful child who becomes a success at life…even if success is measured in simply driving a bus, baking bread, enforcing laws, replacing broken street lamps…but most importantly raising fairly happy kids.
I will also express my anger at moms, who UNLIKE Ms. Toya Graham, blame the police and everyone but themselves for THEIR parental shortcomings.
Ladies, I am sorry I had to chase your child through “The Street” after your child shoved a senior to the ground, sliced the elder’s pocket open with a box cutter before removing the elder’s wallet and fleeing with me chasing your child. I am sorry that when I caught up with your child he or she decided to fight/assault me, forcing me to use lawful physical force to prevent your child from harming me.
I’m sorry I spent several hours in the hospital guarding your child because he or she was injured when I was trying to capture him/her, thereby protecting more elders from being emotionally and physically harmed by your depressed child.
Ladies, I am sorry many Americans, the American/international media, and the leader of the free world are characterizing your children as “thugs.”
I began my police career believing the frustrated, angry, often violent kids in this Brooklyn community were “thugs.” But after a year or so of witnessing many newborns, infants, toddlers, children and teens being schooled and nurtured by immature, irresponsible or apathetic caregivers lacking any discernible child rearing skills, I started viewing these kids differently.
Using the empathy and compassion my parents, community and educators schooled me to embrace, which being human is sometimes difficult to remember/employ during stressful times, I began to realize many of these kids were doomed to resume the Cycle Of Childhood Abuse & Neglect, aka Poverty, created for them by their immature, irresponsible caregivers. While at the same time acting on their anger and frustrations with the life their caregivers introduced them to, by harming their peaceful neighbors.
After more than a decade of serving this community I realized there was no point to me dealing with the added stresses I experienced serving a large population of depressed children, teens and adults. I transferred to a new ‘second home’ where I completed my career with a lot less emotional stress and concerns for my personal safety.
Sadly, when abused, neglected or maltreated children’s mad-world begins affecting their EMOTIONAL WELL BEING, or their ability to discern right from wrong, abused and/or neglected kids DO NOT have the option of packing up and leaving their mad-world behind them.
Until the leader of the free world, the American Media and my American neighbors honestly recognize the primary reason for why these kids are acting out and harming innocent people, much of the public, including police will continue to experience fear for their safety.
Let me make it clear that I was also serving/protecting the families of my civilian co-workers, most all were hard-working competent mothers who lived in the community and struggled to keep their children safe from influences of depressed children raised by immature, irresponsible mothers in the community.
Thank you. Avery “Knute” Jarhman
Take Pride In Parenting; End Our National Epidemic of Child Abuse and Neglect; End Community Violence, Police Fear & Educator’s Frustrations
Robert K. Ross, MD, President and CEO of The California Endowment, gives a compelling overview of the role that exposure to childhood trauma plays in the lives of troubled and chronically ill Americans.
After watching Dr. Ross’ presentation one of the questions all concerned, compassionate Americans should seriously be asking ourselves, our elected, civil, social, community and religious leaders is, “What real substantial changes in our society’s attitude and laws need to occur to prevent Child Abuse and Neglect that often causes young kids to mature into depressed, frustrated, angry, unpredictable, sometimes suicidal teens and adults as a result of experiencing the emotional and/or physical trauma of an abusive childhood?”
At 2:12:25 in this documentary about Mafia hitman and victim of Early Childhood Trauma/Abuse, Richard “The Iceman” Kuklinski, Dr. Park Dietz explains why young Richard most likely developed into a emotionally disturbed, paranoid, cruel, heartless teen and man who did not give a frig about anyone else, including his wife and kids.
Is Jaye DeBlack incorrect about his assessment of many SINGLE MOMS and how they are emotionally harming a substantial population of our nation’s children by irresponsibly building families out of selfishness – instead of caring and love between two committed adult partners?
Sandra Bland Indirectly Speaks About Child Abuse and Neglect Harming Her Quality of Life And Community
Victims of Child Abuse
This video depicts horrific examples of men who were victims of childhood abuse and neglect, conditioning a young teen to embrace ‘The Street’ culture Baltimore Mom of The Year failed to protect her teen son from…not to mention representing the fear peaceful people living and WORKING in the community experience knowing depressed, angry, unpredictable teens and young adults need to vent their angers and frustrations for being introduced to a life of pain and struggle by irresponsible, “living wild” single moms and/or dads.
A little girl, catching a cool breeze from an air conditioning unit in the yard, was blindsided by another child about her same age, who had evidently had some practice with fighting fierce. The small victim wasn’t alone, as there were plenty of nearby witnesses, who could have protected her but didn’t because they were too busy recording the brutal beat down and encouraging it. | Written By Amanda Shea
What I see in this recorded act of criminal child abuse, is adults conditioning children to embrace the cycle of child abuse, child maltreatment and violence passed down from generation to generation by depressed Americans who are content living in the poverty they are primarily responsible for fueling when irresponsibly birthing children from selfishness, instead of the love between two committed adult partners.
Nationally Popular Victims of Early Childhood Abuse and Neglect
Read popular American rapper Tupac Amaru Shakur (Lesane Parish Crooks; June 16, 1971 – September 13, 1996) lyrics to learn about his love-hate relationship with his mom, his great disappointment with his dad, and about Tupac’s frequent suicidal thoughts.
Read about how Tupac’s drug addicted mother accepted proceeds of the harmful anti-social acts Tupac raps/writes about committing against his peaceful neighbors. I have to tell you, reading Tupac’s lyrics brings back a lot memories of the horrific emotional child abuse I witnessed during the nearly twelve year I provided police services to Shawn Carter’s community.
Shawn “Jay Z” Carter (born December 4, 1969) is another victim of child abuse/neglect who raps/writes about the physical harm and fear he caused to his peaceful neighbors and community.
Reading Shawn “Jay Z” Carter describe the pain he caused to his neighbors and community, brought back painful memories, causing me experience much of the same anxiety and pain I experienced from personally witnessing the physical and emotional pain young Shawn Carter caused to individuals as well as an entire housing complex and surrounding neighborhoods.
In 1987, the same year emotionally depressed 2015 Grammy winner Kendrick Lamar was born, songwriter Suzanne Vega wrote a song about child abuse and VICTIM DENIAL that was nominated for a Grammy.
Suzanne nailed it, parents and caregivers do the most horrific things to their kids, yet many kids will defend their abusers, blaming themselves for their “blues,” bruises and injuries before admitting a parent/caretaker harmed them.
“Yes I think I’m okay I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that’s what I’ll say
And it’s not your business anyway”