Restore Pride In Parenting; End Child Abuse & Neglect
By Chauncey DeVega / AlterNet / July 7, 2015
“When President Obama delivered the eulogy for the Reverend Clementa Pinckney and the other victims of the Charleston massacre he spoke of pain, forgiveness, justice, the political power of the black church, and racial healing.”
In his remarks about the Honorable Reverend Clementa Pinckney, Mr Obama looked away from his audience while offering, “Perhaps it causes us to examine what we’re doing to cause some of our children to hate.” (Applause.)
With all due respect to my American neighbors who lost loved ones in this act of hate, this one sentence is the key to most all the emotional stress, anguish and pain experienced by many Americans of all ages.
Early in my police career when I was assigned to the Brooklyn community Shawn ‘Jay Z’ Carter raps/writes about attempting destroy by selling poison to people living and working in his community, and rapping about engaging in extremely harmful anti-social behaviors designed to protect his drug operation from rival gangs in adjoining neighborhoods, a few of my training officers advised me to be prepared to experience “culture shock.”
When I asked what is meant by “culture shock,” I was told, “You’ll find out.”
I did find out what “culture shock” is, though it was not a culture of violence and harmful anti-social activities many were insinuating I would be shocked by.
The aspect of this Brooklyn, NY community that shocked me to the core was witnessing children being emotionally scarred by a “American Sub-Culture of Child Abuse/Neglect” that Kendrick Lamar raps and speaks about some twenty-five years after I first witnessed the “American Sub-Culture of Child Abuse/Neglect” that today CONTINUES emotionally damaging many developing children and their communities.
I personally witnessed the emotional trauma and physical pain a young, neglected, unsupervised, Shawn ‘Jay Z’ Carter is responsible for causing, and its aftermath, leaving a community populated by mostly peaceful people fearing for their safety on a 24/7 basis, which are the hours Shawn’s crew/gang were selling community harming substances.
During the twelve years I served this community I met hundreds of peaceful people who were just as shaken, upset and deeply disturbed as I was by the daily displays of violence and other anti-social activities mostly caused by teens and adults who were victims of childhood abuse and neglect.
I was lucky, at the end of my workday I could leave the community, returning to a more peaceful residential community were concerns for me and my family’s safety were significantly lower.
However, virtually all of my civilian co-workers, mostly loving, competent moms living in this community were not as fortunate. They were burdened with stresses and challenges my parents did not face to any significant degree.
The added stresses and challenges my peaceful co-workers faced was preventing their children from being negatively influenced by abused, neglected, unsupervised children being raised and nurtured by immature, “living wild” teen moms and young women who irresponsibly begin building families before they acquired the skills, maturity, PATIENCE and means to independently provide for their family of developing children.
In his 2015 Grammy award winning Rap Performance titled “I”, Kendrick Lamar writes, “I’ve been dealing with depression ever since an adolescent.”
During a January 20, 2011 LAWeekly interview (Google search) Kendrick, born in 1987, the same year songwriter Suzanne Vega wrote a song about child abuse and VICTIM DENIAL that was nominated for a Grammy award, told the interviewer:
“Lamar’s parents moved from Chicago to Compton in 1984 with all of $500 in their pockets. “My mom’s one of 13 [THIRTEEN] siblings, and they all got SIX kids, and till I was 13 everybody was in Compton,” he says.”
“I’m 6 years old, seein’ my uncles playing with shotguns, sellin’ dope in front of the apartment. My moms and pops never said nothing, ’cause they were young and living wild, too. I got about 15 stories like ‘Average Joe.'”
It seems evident to me Kendrick identified the source of his depression, the roots of poverty, the child abuse/maltreatment that prevented him, his brothers, sisters, cousins, neighborhood friends and elementary and JHS classmates from enjoying a fairly happy safe childhood.
Seems the adults responsible for raising the children in Kendrick’s immediate and extended family placed obstacles in their children’s way, causing their kids to deal with challenges and stresses young minds are not prepared to deal with…nor should they or any other children be exposed to and have to deal with.
It seems evident to me these PARENTAL INTRODUCED obstacles and challenges cause some developing children’s minds to become tormented and go haywire, not knowing OR NOT CARING ABOUT right from wrong…because as they mature, young victims of child abuse realize their parents introduced them to a life of pain and struggle, totally unlike the mostly safe, happy life the media showed them many American kids were enjoying. RESENTMENT
I cannot speak for anyone else, but if I was raised in Kendrick’s family I would most likely be silently peeved at my parents. particularly my mom who had the final say on whether or not I was born, for being immature, irresponsible “living wild” adults who deprived me, my sisters and brothers of experiencing a safe, fairly happy Average Joe or Josie American childhood.
I have a feeling most Americans would have been just as shaken and disturbed as I was when witnessing on a daily basis children and teens being abused, neglected and unsupervised, which often resulted with them venting their anger and frustrations on their peaceful neighbors.
Victims of Child Abuse:
Read popular American rapper Tupac Amaru Shakur (Lesane Parish Crooks; June 16, 1971 – September 13, 1996) lyrics to learn about his love-hate relationship with his mom, his great disappointment with his dad, and about Tupac’s frequent suicidal thoughts.
Read about how Tupac’s drug addicted mother accepted proceeds of the harmful anti-social acts Tupac raps/writes about committing against his peaceful neighbors. I have to tell you, reading Tupac’s lyrics brings back a lot memories of the horrific emotional child abuse I witnessed during the nearly twelve year I provided police services to Shawn Carter’s community.
Shawn “Jay Z” Carter (born December 4, 1969) is another victim of child abuse/neglect who raps/writes about the physical harm and fear he caused to his peaceful neighbors and community.
Reading Shawn “Jay Z” Carter describe the pain he caused to his neighbors and community, brought back painful memories, causing me experience much of the same anxiety and pain I experienced from personally witnessing the physical and emotional pain young Shawn Carter caused to individuals as well as an entire housing complex and surrounding neighborhoods.
In 1987, the same year emotionally depressed 2015 Grammy winner Kendrick Lamar was born, songwriter Suzanne Vega wrote a song about child abuse and VICTIM DENIAL that was nominated for a Grammy.
Suzanne nailed it, parents and caregivers do the most horrific things to their kids, yet many kids will defend their abusers, blaming themselves for their “blues,” bruises and injuries before admitting a parent/caretaker harmed them.
“Yes I think I’m okay I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that’s what I’ll say
And it’s not your business anyway”