“Hood Rat” or Victim of Child Abuse & Neglect!

red-dothttp://www.kidsmatterinc.org/for-families/abuse-and-neglect-resources/emotional-abuse

https://knutesniche.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/dr-joy-degruy-addresses-black-depression-violence-and-healing/

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“Hood Rat” or Victim of Child Abuse?

March 17, 2015

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red-dotI appreciate Philip, the presenter, being upset with the young girl we all witnessed sharing violence with an innocent teen and five-year-old child.

However, I believe characterizing this child as a “Hoodrat” or animal is a totally irresponsible reaction in that the violent child is apparently a victim of child abuse committed by the people or person legally and morally responsible for raising and nurturing this abused child into a peaceful person.

I too am angry when I witness acts of violence being committed by young children, though based on my life experiences witnessing this type of ugliness on a regular basis, I choose to seek and identify who is primarily responsible for this emotionally abused child acting out with violence.

In some circles, adults with a common sense approach who characterize a child as an animal, might be viewed as a bit damaged themselves.

In other circles many might believe common sense people using inflammatory titles and headlines to draw public attention to their ad-packed Youtube channels that are linked to their for-profit website,  well, many might infer the common sense folks are willfully perpetuating grief and sadness experienced by thousands of victims of child abuse and neglect who matured into damaged teens and adults.

Sadly many of the people highlighted in the videos on these for-profit YouTube channels, with links to for-profit websites, are victims of all types of early childhood abuse, neglect and maltreatment that understandably causes them to develop into depressed, angry frustrated teens and adults.

Much like Baltimore grandmother Toya Graham‘s son Michael Graham-Singleton who was observed acting with depraved indifference toward peaceful people attempting to protect his peaceful neighbors from the anger and depression many kids experience as they mature, realizing their mom and/or dad introduced them to a life that caused them pain, hardship and struggle…a life depriving them of experiencing some/much of the fun the media tells them many American kids were enjoying.

The root causes of crime and violence are in part related to a child’s early up-bringing and care.

In his 2015 Grammy award winning rap performance, “I”, Kendrick Lamar reveals, “I’ve been dealing with depression ever since an adolescent.”

After looking at the rap lyrics written by Kendrick, I recognize he and I have both tread in similar worlds or communities.

Kendrick doing so as a depressed adolescent, me as a often frustrated uniformed NYC police officer dealing with children suffering from depression. In my experience, depressed children who often resort to committing anti-social harmful acts against their peaceful neighbors.

In this 2011 LAWeekly interview Kendrick clearly explains what caused his early depression and why he continued to experience depression into adulthood.

Quoting a January 2011 LAWeekly interview with Kendrick:

“Lamar’s parents moved from Chicago to Compton in 1984 with all of $500 in their pockets. “My mom’s one of 13 siblings, and they all got six kids, and till I was 13 everybody was in Compton,” he says.

“I’m 6 years old, seein’ my uncles playing with shotguns, sellin’ dope in front of the apartment. My moms and pops never said nothing, ’cause they were young and living wild, too. I got about 15 stories like ‘Average Joe.'”

Because we have tread the same sidewalks and experienced what life is like for some kids in the community he raps about, I am going to surmise Kendrick is sharing experiences that caused his depression, as well as the ever-present sadness many of his siblings, friends, neighbors and schoolmates born and raised under similar circumstances experience in their developing lives.

If you read the interview think about a young kid being taught in school to be truthful, honest, not to cheat ect… Then picture the kid going home to the life Kendrick describes.

Fact is, in the January 2011 interview Kendrick clearly described the driving force behind poverty and the child abuse many kids suffer, causing them to develop into depressed, emotionally damaged teens and adults.

I’ve met and/or observed hundreds of children who much like Kendrick were victims of early childhood abuse/neglect. I understand how the abuse impacted him, depriving him and most all his schoolmates of a normal mainstream American life the media showed him most American kids were enjoying.

Perhaps this case of child maltreatment and emotional abuse/neglect, will in part, offer a reason for why some/many kids growing up in America experience depression, lack empathy for their neighbors, often resorting to committing violent and other crimes to vent their anger and frustrations.

I met this NYC mom while providing uniform police services to the City of New York some years ago.

One evening a call for police service brought me to a young mom’s second floor walk-up apartment in a private dwelling, she was reporting the theft of a Boom-Box radio taken from her kitchen window sill by someone trespassing on her building’s fire escape.

Entering this young mom’s apartment I observed several children, some in diapers, a few older, sitting on a living room couch, an aluminum fifty-five gallon, half-filled trash can was sitting right in the middle of her tiny living room, as if it was her coffee table. One of her living room walls was smeared with several dark stains of what I believed to be human waste.

I calmly recorded her theft complaint and left, immediately reporting my observations to my sergeant who instructed me to contact child welfare. Forty-five minutes later the children were removed from this mom’s care, temporarily placed in the custody and care of the people of New York City.

Sadly, this was not my only interaction with this mom.

Months later I arrested her younger brother for robbery. According to the victims and one witness to this act of violence who recognized her brother from the neighborhood, he placed what appeared to be a handgun in the face of two victims and threatened their lives while demanding and taking their property.

Until she arrived at the precinct to protest her brother’s arrest, I had no idea my young prisoner was related to the mom whose maltreated children I caused to be taken from her months earlier. At the top of her lungs, much like Michael Brown’s father when he was recorded reacting to the perceived injustice to his family member, she adamantly insisted her brother was not a robber.

I showed her the gun I recovered from her brother’s pocket, I told her one witness knows her brother from the neighborhood, still not convinced she came very close to being arrested for becoming disorderly and refusing to leave the precinct station house once her business was done. Later I learned that she appeared in court when her younger brother was arrested months earlier for an unrelated robbery.

What was the point of lying about her brother not being a street thug, when there are public records indicating she knew he was committing acts of violence toward people months before she looked me in the eye and vehemently denied her brother is a robber?

I believe I know the answer to my own question. Again, I have no formal training in understanding why people tend to act the way they do, however based on my life experiences I believe Boom-Box mom lied to me without a care or second thought because she was raised to believe lying and denial is how people cope with uncomfortable situations..or..she never acquired and developed the critical thinking skills required to look past living in the moment, or the “here and now’.

Time and time again I interviewed adults and teens who lied to me about easily verifiable facts, often placing themselves at risk for being arrested for obstructing or impeding criminal investigations. Is this something most people with average critical thinking skills would do?

After every day or night’s work I had a 30-40 minute commute home, which gave me time to reflect on the day’s events, how I responded to them, and what I learned from them. Many nights I would drive home with a smile on my face, thinking to myself, “Holy smokes, I can’t believe I get paid to have this much fun identifying and locking up dangerous people.”

During many of these winding-down, reflective moments I would actually experience a euphoric feeling of being “high on life.” For me, at that time in my career, chasing down seriously dangerous bad people who illegally armed themselves with firearms for the purpose of committing mayhem on a mostly peaceful population of working class and poor fellow Americans was the ultimate high, as well as a fringe benefit of police work.

In many cases after taking an alleged dangerous person into custody, I had the opportunity to speak with them and gain ‘some’ insight into what makes them tick. I have no formal training in psychology, however, after meeting and talking with many people who are alleged to have committed crimes in this community, I personally concluded many of the people I arrested were raised and nurtured in environments that lacked real love, understanding, caring and guidance.

Driving home after my first interaction with the aforementioned Boom-Box mom, I thought about her values, her understanding of what is expected of the people who nurture our children, her consideration for laws that society imposes on all people who assume the serious responsibility of rearing children.

I concluded Boom-Box mom was “clueless,” lacking good judgment and skills in all areas required for her to be a good nurturer.

I asked myself, “What is going on in the mind of a mother who invites a law enforcement official into her home, in which she has created a environment for her children that posed a serious risk to their physical well being and health, as well as their psychological development?”

“Does she not realize what she is doing to her children or how her clueless behavior can imprint and affect them for life?”

“Before calling the police did Boom-Box mom not realize society enacted laws protecting her children from the physically harmful and emotionally abusive home she created for them?”

I have to believe Boom-Box mom’s method for parenting is a learned behavior, instilled either during her own upbringing or gleaned from the people she is friends or associates with. Which leaves me wondering if Boom-Box mom ever invited friends or guests to her apartment, and if she did, why didn’t they report the apparent maltreatment and emotional abuse she was exposing her helpless children to?

I am not trying to be harsh by characterizing Boom-Box mom as totally “clueless.” I believe she is a victim of a society accepted cycle of dysfunctional family and community environments…from birth, it appears Boom-Box mom was not shown what a loving environment is made of, it’s difficult for me to be mad at people who are victimized by the recurring cycle, and it certainly makes me better understand why so much rage, anger and frustration exists in the hearts and minds of young “black people” who are raised in these environments.

If I was being raised in the cycle of poverty by a “clueless” parent, as I mature, learning more about the world and witnessing how others are having fun, prospering, loving their families and lives, more than likely over time I’d be real upset, simmering, maybe even rage as I aged and my home environment does not improve.

I think about Boom-Box mom’s children and what they have to look forward to, what skills does she offer her children…what goes through her baby’s minds as they gather around the trash can mom placed in the middle of their living room, day after day watching television depicting the good lives Americans of all backgrounds are enjoying?

What really saddens me……is knowing, based on my experiences, that Boom-Box mom’s “clueless” mindset is replicated by mom’s and parents throughout this community. It saddens and angers me that little kids are in many cases, doomed from the start, or before they are conceived.

When I look back at the environment my parents created for me and how I responded to that environment, I realize my goals were to please my parents by respecting and appreciating what they were doing for me. And most importantly doing my best not to disappoint them because they loved me and made sure I knew it by actively being involved in my life, and aiding me in shaping my life as I developed into a peaceful person who felt loved and cared for.

Two immutable rules in our household were impressed upon me at a young age, “Always be truthful” and “Before judging, wear the other person’s shoes.” Thinking back mom and dad never used the word “empathy” when admonishing me for not thinking before I shot my mouth off, they always said “wear the other person’s shoes.”

I am thinking if my mom and dad placed a trash can in our living room, ignored feces smeared on our walls, got sis and I removed from their custody because they were not providing basic care for me and sis…I am thinking I’d be a pretty messed up kid incapable of embracing the concept of empathy, or purposefully not showing empathy for others because my life sucks and I don’t care about others.

Or perhaps I’d use my intentional lack of empathy as a means to peeve or ‘get-back’ at my parents by engaging in anti-social behaviors that would eventually get me arrested, causing my parents to recognize that I exist, or depending on their views of the police, causing them to interact with authority people they may not necessarily like or trust, thus peeving them.

As I wrote, my experiences occurred years ago.

Recently I looked at current crime stats for this community and learned there has been a significant decrease in reported crimes, though there is still a good amount of violent crimes being committed.

If society continues failing to monitor caregivers who require public funds to raise, nurture and support their children, these kids will continue to be raised in environments like the one Boom-Box mom created for her kids.

I am hoping when camera technology proves its mettle in protecting police officers, as well as identifying officers who require further training or officers who have no business serving the public in a LE capacity, we will use that same technology to protect children by monitoring the common area of homes in which caregivers have established a track record for failing to properly raise, nurture and/or supervise their children. Especially in communities with higher crime rates where kids are more often exposed to some/many neighbors with a mindset for lawlessness.

Recently I watched a video that saddened me as well as enlightened me when I learned child welfare investigators test the hair of child abuse victims for “ambient” exposure to drugs.

Holy smokes, the numbers were critical. At the least cameras would expose signs of intoxication in homes identified as requiring extra care to prevent children from being emotionally and or physically harmed.

My Logic:

If a person requires public funds to raise and nurture a child, society is essentially investing in America’s future by offering support to irresponsible women who in many cases give life to children they are not prepared to care for without, and in some/many instances, with our support.

By bearing a child/children without having the means to provide for her child, a mom has already demonstrated that she is not a mature, responsible person.

Society compassionately, and because we do not have any other choice, provides support and care for a child born to a immature, irresponsible mother, and due to financial constraints we do little to insure our investment in immature mother’s children is being used to raised and nurture her kids in a physically and emotionally healthy environment.

Cameras would allow society to closely monitor our investment without being overly intrusive or having to hire more child welfare investigators to protect children from immature, irresponsible caregivers, which we should be doing now.

Society created laws to protect peaceful people from anti-social people.

To protect society from children who develop anti-social attitudes, we arrest teens for committing crimes, yet we do not hold accountable the mothers and fathers legally responsible for nurturing and supervising these kids?

Why is that?

Does society’s current and long-standing policy for ignoring children born to immature females and anonymous or immature males need to be re-evaluated?

Seems reasonable society should have a right to closely monitor our investments and insure that kids are being raised and nurtured with love >>> and not indifference.

#cameras
#child-safety
#protect-kids-from-irresponsible-caregivers

yellow-horizontalIn this October 2012 LAWeekly interview, Grammy winner Kendrick Lamar questions the choices his parent made.

lamar.child.abuse

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